Once you have determined that indeed, you wish to get away from the abuser, and do file an Order of Protection, DO NOT let them try to talk to you, reason with you or talk you out of it!. Sure, you want the relationship to work. Perhaps have put a lot of time into it. But the bad out-weighs the good. You know - it is wrong to stay. These actions will escalate. "People only get treated as badly as they allow." "You teach people how to treat you."      Get smart and research this subject 1st! You can not change him, you may become hurt, or worse! Our firm, A Team Masters Scene Clean up, went on a project were this young woman had tried to end an abusive relationship, and even though he damaged her car prior, by putting Graffiti on the side of it, she let him in her house that day. We were called in to clean up the blood of his killing her, and himself. He loved her so much, he fired 12 bullets into her body, & then laid down beside her, & killed himself. "If he couldn't have her, no one else would either."      Stalking refers to repeatedly harassing and threatening behavior, including showing up at the victim's home or workplace, placing harassing phone calls, voicemail, email or postal mail messages or objects, or vandalizing the victim's property. It is usually committed by perpetrators of other Forms of different domestic violence .Don't keep it a DARK secret! What we think we know about domestic violence Getting the Order of protection and stop the abuse, details as well. Does it work? New York article Sometimes, but read Statistics percentages of violations But it DOES make a difference in penalties when and if violated, when an OPC is in place. Less likely to repeat. However, the things to do, lock your car, obtain and put up motion detector lights, get a dog, cell phone, security cameras, and educate yourself, protect you much more. Plus, you will be MUCH safer than the average person against other criminal attacks. Strangers that is, don't under-estimate your stalker! Top Ten mistakes victims makes. Every woman should read Gavin de Becker's "The Gift of Fear." It has a lot of great stuff about how to take control of situations like this before they escalate to an extreme, and strongly cautions against placing confidence in restraining orders and the like. Howver, sometimes - often times, it is the only way a woman (or man) gets protection, and can take their life back. In the meantime, DOCUMENTION OF ALL UNWANTED actions is needed, dates, times, ect. Just take page's precautions. Plus, trust your own intuitions, + let family or friends know where, when you go out.         What are signs of Abuse? Link Violence Against Women While this site details women, all information relates to men as well. They too, are sometimes abused. Mostly though, the "Power" is a need for men.         Link Signs of emotional abuse. What will be the "last straw" for you? His hissy fits or temper tantrums, hitting, talking to you like you're stupid, all the broken promises. cheating, womanizer or extreme jealousy, all the lies, throwing your stuff, slashed tires, belittling you or saying unforgivable negative stuff or threatening to commit suicide if you leave?        Really, this all does damage your self esteem and hurts or can erode to the very core. Does your partner act like he is always right? Controlling, over-talks you? Has a sick sense of humor sometimes? Shows no remorse or guilt, says I'm sorry, but it's empty. - NEVER TAKES BLAME OR RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING? Always breeds negativism. Bad mouths your family and friends? You are a target, Link not a victim - yet. When is Enough, Enough? Abusive talk answers and questions about it. (Slow,link but good.) In Ohio the phone numbers / web sites are: Domestic Violence Awareness Online: Ohio Shelters/Hotlines Cleveland Ohio call 216-391-4357 Domestic Violence Center Call your local police department to ask if they have a victim's advocate. An Ohio law permits you to have a victim advocate with you at all times in court during protection order proceedings. There are support meeting in most cities, and if needed the advocate will pick you up to take you to city hall or court. By asking for a protection order you are not laying a criminal charge, and you do not need to make a criminal charge to get a protection order. However, if you are the victim of a type of domestic abuse that is also a crime you can choose to apply for a protection order, or lay a criminal charge, or do both. Acts of abuse which are also crimes include common assault, assault with intention of doing grievous bodily harm, indecent assault, rape, incest, attempted murder, malicious damage to property, pointing a firearm, and abuse of animals, to name a few. So is distructioin of a phone line! If the OFP order is granted, Once issued, and served, carry it with you. This is protection, and as long as your abuser does not break the conditions of the protection order, for the set period of time given in it, he will not be arrested - for violation of it.    Online Order for Protection , details, and other resources. Another detailed site on Protection Orders . If the telephone rings, and it is a blocked number, let the answering machine get it. Then you call star 57 Trace (fee applies, approx. $2.00 in some states) However, it will get the number from any blocked call, and used to report Harassment. For more info call 1-877-trace-4-u Link DOMESTIC VIOLENCE & THE DISABLED . Can therapy help an abuser? full answer, to read -"I believe that success is rare." Nearly one-third of women can expect to be the victim of intimate partner violence sometime in their lifetime. As of 2000, about 8 million incidents of domestic violence occurred in one year in the United States. About 1,300 deaths were attributed to domestic abuse as of 2003. What If he could change?    If your life is in danger and you do not have time to make arrangements, you should leave everything behind and flee. You can call 1-800-799-SAFE from any telephone and they will help to direct you to safe places in your area. As well as other resources. Be Safe, and God Bless, Betty, CEO - A Team Masters E-mail a friend about this site: Need more targeted traffic? Join TrafficSwarm for FREE!

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